And So It Goes

I don't like the fact that I've realized that everything I want in a husband is sitting right in front of me, and yet he wants nothing to do with it. Maybe there is something that he's lacking, maybe the timing isn't right. Neither of those changes the fact that I would date this person in a second but he still isn't asking. There are times when everything seems to click and fall perfectly into place but then there are those awkward times when he walks right out of the room without even saying goodbye. You might think I'm exaggerating when I say everything, but this guy is literally everything that I want. Even down to the small details that don't mean a flip to anyone else but me. I know that God has his timing. I know that I have talked myself into believing this about so many guys. Something tells me that this is different, though. UGH! Why am I struggling with this so? I feel like there is this deadline to get married, and I am quickly approaching it. I don't know how to change my wishes into quietly trusting God's plan. Not that any of this should matter now. I mean, I'm 20 years old, not 40 or even 60. I have so much time ahead of me, I should not be thinking of this now. But all I know is that from the time I was 5, I honestly believed that I would follow in my mother's footsteps and marry early. I guess all I can do, though, is what I have been: waiting. Someday my prince will come.
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