Wednesday, January 30, 2002
It's always disappointing when bad days follow great nights. Went to the John Mayer concert and fell in love. Stood in puddles of sweat dripping of of every person in the crampped hole in the wall. The air was so thick with heat it was impossible to steal a breath that resembled refreshing. The music was amazing and I think I lost about 5 pounds, so everything seemed to balance out.
My first hints of troube came with recurring thoughts of Mr. Perfect as I drifted off to sleep. He haunted my dreams with hints of smiles and possibilities. He has continued his presence into today as I trip over images of every encounter we have ever had. Why? Why can't I just let go? Why can't the boy who walks 6 blocks just to hear me talk only to turn around and walk 12 the other way be enough? Every part of me wants him to be, even going so far as to wish for more than enough. So why is it that when I'm with him I can't help wishing he were someone else?
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My first hints of troube came with recurring thoughts of Mr. Perfect as I drifted off to sleep. He haunted my dreams with hints of smiles and possibilities. He has continued his presence into today as I trip over images of every encounter we have ever had. Why? Why can't I just let go? Why can't the boy who walks 6 blocks just to hear me talk only to turn around and walk 12 the other way be enough? Every part of me wants him to be, even going so far as to wish for more than enough. So why is it that when I'm with him I can't help wishing he were someone else?
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