Monday, February 18, 2002
The street that anchors my cousin's house is lined with ancient oak trees. For the first time in a while I forced my head up from my book and watched the braches pass above me. The sky defined blue and sundrops sprinkled down through the leaves. Bird bellies scattered as my footsteps sounded down the road. Cool breezes found their way into my coat and assaulted my arms, causing my hands to clench tighter around the keys in my pocket. Had I been in a field, and not a street, I would have layed on the ground and gazed up at the expanse of beauty until the sun made it above the tree line. Later, as the day drifted through warm afternoon and then into cool evening, a ring of purple crowned the tops of trees and wisps of clouds offered decoration around the setting sun. Night brings with it good books read in bed and hours spent inside myself.
Again as I walked towards that same street, I found the stalker becoming the stalked. While in daily conversation with my mother, I looked up to see that boy from class paces in front of me. I slowed and slinked along the fences until he turned the corner, completely unaware of my presence. I watched him for a moment, walking without purpose towards an indiscriminate location, and then hurried out of sight with my heart slowly finding its way up from my stomach.
Driving home from work, I stopped at the grocery to purchase solo entrees and a loaf of bread. I found satisfaction in my ability to advertise my aloneness. Table for one, please. Just one ticket for the Wednesday performance, please. No, I bought these flowers for myself, thank you. Alone does not frighten me, I only fear the threat of its permanence.
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Again as I walked towards that same street, I found the stalker becoming the stalked. While in daily conversation with my mother, I looked up to see that boy from class paces in front of me. I slowed and slinked along the fences until he turned the corner, completely unaware of my presence. I watched him for a moment, walking without purpose towards an indiscriminate location, and then hurried out of sight with my heart slowly finding its way up from my stomach.
Driving home from work, I stopped at the grocery to purchase solo entrees and a loaf of bread. I found satisfaction in my ability to advertise my aloneness. Table for one, please. Just one ticket for the Wednesday performance, please. No, I bought these flowers for myself, thank you. Alone does not frighten me, I only fear the threat of its permanence.
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