Monday, November 25, 2002
Could some one please explain to me why something that took literally no thought or struggle or effort only one week ago has suddenly become one of the most difficult things in the world. I really would like to play this whole thing cool, I really would like to "play it by ear," as he said. Why then am I upset when he doesn't call? Why do I have to ruin everything by calling myself? Why can't I just let things BE?! I have this horrible knot in the pit of my stomach. I am suddenly replaying conversations over and over and doubting their authenticity. All I want is to hear his voice. Why do I now feel as if that is asking too much?
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