And So It Goes

The clouds this morning sat low in the sky, providing the perfect contrast to the few trees blazing with orange and red leaves. It was a distinctly November sky, drab and colorless and sagging with rain. I love this weather, it provides those few Floridians desperate for seasons other than hot and hotter a glimpse of what life looks like above the Mason Dixon.
I've been driving myself absolutely insane all week. A close-to-crazy combination of stress, heartache and Diet Coke. I have these visions of marriage and babies running through my head every two seconds, visions that would classify anyone as certifiable padded-room material. I have freakishly large butterflies tearing up my stomach. I am distracted, to say the least, and unable to concentrate on anything but him. His face, his arms, his lips, you name, I've pondered it. It's mental to think that I could be falling this hard for someone I've only just met, someone thousands of miles away. But I am.
As exciting as it all is, though, I'm scared out of my f-ing mind. What if he doesn't feel the same way? What if I'm setting myself up for yet another heartache? I don't have the nerve to ask him and I don't think he'd tell me if I did.
Good God, I need professional help.
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