And So It Goes

I really, honestly, can't stand New Year's Eve. Never in my 23 years of observing the passing of one year into another have I enjoyed the madness that tends to mark this so-called holiday. There was one year, maybe two, that stands out as being less miserable than all the others, but most have been the stuff that sad, pathetic romance movies are made of. Take for example the year I watched the ball drop alone, hugging my ragged little bear and sitting on the floor of my living room, my entire family having chosen to sleep their way into January. Or the year I spent fighting off three rather foul smelling Asian men on the dance floor of some random club, unable to leave due to the fact that I was at the mercy of my host and his horribly flaky date. This year looks to offer no break from my awful streak of bad luck. After making tentative plans with several people, it appears those plans have all fallen through, leaving me "celebrating" alone at home yet again. Not even Dick Clark will be joining me this year.
There has got to be more to it than this, something I'm missing or maybe just misunderstood. Maybe there is something lacking in my approach to New Year's that makes each and every occurence an in-depth study into human misery and unmet expectations. Or maybe, just maybe, everyone else on this planet was born with a "Happy New Year" gene and by some weird genetic mutation I was born without this vital DNA strand thus making it physically impossible for me to enjoy myself.
Whatever the cause, my heart is heavy tonight. Because as much as I can't stand this holiday, I want SO badly to savor every second of it. I would LOVE to ring in the new year with good cheer and a genuine smile and be able to understand why people celebrate. But for now, I guess that understanding will just take a little longer.
Hope you have a Happy New Year. Have fun and be good.
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